World Jump Day – July 20th, 11:39:13 GMT

Dear innernets,
I am writing you to inform/remind you that July 20th is World Jump Day! According to the website, if 600 million people in the western hemisphere jumped at the same moment, we would be able to change the Earth’s orbit enough to stop global warming (and some other things would happen).
I’m willing to do my part… Are you?
Thanks for your fealty!
-Christian

Oh, P.S.: You’re probably like “Hey, Christian… I thought you were fighting Global Warming by being cool??” Well, yeah… I am! Unfortunately, so many people are like “zOMG CHRISTIAN IS SO HOTT!!” that my coolness is being negated. Even when I turn the cool up to 11! I try to facilitate things by getting fatter and lazier, but it doesn’t seem to help. I’m sorry. I’m trying to do my part but I’m only one guy. Maybe if the rest of you were a little cooler then I wouldn’t have to run my AC 12 out of 12 months a year.