January 2008

Remember when you were a little kid and your mom would buy you a dope new pair of the best slip resistant shoes (not some crappy Pro Wings or Traxx or whatever PayLess sold! you wear those in my neighborhood, and you’re asking for an ass kicking!) and all of a sudden you could run way faster and jump higher? Well, the same kind of thing happened to me the other day when my internet connection at home started working again after 5 days of not! All of a sudden, I was happier and small things that had been bringing me down were non-existent. It was awesome and I was smiling. But not now.
Have you ever been asked a question where the answer is in the question? Not necessarily a leading question, and not one where you can tell that a person is fishing for something, but one where, knowing the person asking the question, you kind of know which side of the answer you should err? Well, I was asked one such question a few nights ago, and I instantly knew what I thought they wanted to hear me say, but that wasn’t exactly the truth. I mean, giving them the answer that I think they wanted to hear probably would have gotten me at least one step closer (possibly a GIGANTIC step!) to yielding something I have been trying to make happen for a short while, but I just couldn’t give them that answer. And it’s kind of been bothering me ever since.
I think it’s important to be honest, not just with other people, but with yourself too. In this instance, nobody else would have benefited from me giving the answer I thought the question asker wanted to hear me say. It was kind of a question like, “Do you like pink or green more?” where clearly they wanted me to say pink, because… Otherwise, why would they have asked me? And I could have said pink and no damage would have been done, and I would have been able to pass Go, but it was important to me to be truthful and say green. Of course, I was able to back up my answer with an explanation, and I don’t think I took any steps backwards, but it would have been so simple to give the answer I thought they wanted to hear me say. But I didn’t.
I hate kicking my own ass so much!
I’m sorry, I failed to remember the point I was trying to make with all of this typing. Normally, I would expect this to indicate that I’m over it, but I don’t feel like I am.
Oh well.

P.S.: Do you remember this? Well, it was reduced to 13 cans of Monster Kaos by the time it hit my hands, and now those are gone!