Jan 31 2008
Reason #1 to not get married or have kids!
I received an interesting email from one of my mom’s cousins tonight…
Apparently, I have to pay $60/year to be in the family. Funny, this is the first I’ve heard of these “dues”. I don’t plan on paying. I wonder if I’ll get kicked out of the family? If nothing else, I have a new reason to not show up at the family reunion. “Oh, sorry… I forgot to pay my dues, so now I can’t go. Maybe I’ll see you in 2014??” This is also a tremendous reason to not get married or have kids… “But if we get married, then you’ll have to pay $60/year to be a part of our family!”
I received an interesting phone call last night. Two friends that don’t call nearly as often as I would like, rang me up to ask why I didn’t tell them about my girlfriend. Naturally, I was like… What? They read off a couple of lines, named a couple of names and web sites and things kind of started to fall into place. It was not exactly easy to set them straight. It should have been an amazingly LOLlerrific misunderstanding, but instead I found it rather annoying. There’s actually a lot of such chatter going around, and that’s what I find annoying. And, sadly, I can’t say I didn’t have my hand in its creation… I thought I was helping create some lulz, but it has kind of turned around and kicked my ass. Oh well. It’s not a big deal, and I’ll take that over almost anything else, any day! Things could be a lot worse.
Speaking of lulz, I think I have some here. They might seem fairly vague, and the lulz might be kind of hard to find without any sort of explanation, so feel free to ask about them if you wish.
Lastly, Carl is going to be on some bootleg underground local radio station (97.7) today (Thursday) at 6PM, offering some relationship advice or something like that. You know, Dr Phil/Dr. Drew type stuff. He said it’s meant to be funny and not serious, so you should check it out!
January 31, 2008 @ 8:52 am
Dude, if you want, my family is offering discounted rates for family admission. It’s only $45 per year. You can just make the check out to me. With your annual dues, you get one coozie and a t-shirt that says, “I went to the stupid family reunion and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” (The t-shirts are leftover from the Trent-Leibowitz reunion of 1982. One size fits all. No exchanges.)
January 31, 2008 @ 9:03 am
Thanks for the offer! I’ll take that under consideration!
January 31, 2008 @ 10:45 am
You want my family? The’re free. I’ll even throw in a 6-pack of Coors Light and an unlimited calling card so you can talk to my mom.
January 31, 2008 @ 3:00 pm
I have a feeling your family would understand me even less than my own.
February 1, 2008 @ 12:11 am
FYI…
I heard about this company out of Bali where you can rent a small family for a nominal fee. I think the rates are based on a sliding scale, and there might be a background check required. Also mention the extended family plan and you get a discounted rate for a crazy uncle and/or a senile grandpa.
February 11, 2008 @ 12:12 pm
i would gladly pay $60 a month to never have to see my family again..wait a minute — your family wants you to pay TO SEE THEM/Be IN TOUCH! There is something wrong with the equation. I will take you on as a family member, and I won’t charge you and I won’t see you. We will get along just fine.
July 8, 2012 @ 8:57 am
Throughout this grand scheme of things you actually get an A+ for hard work. Exactly where you actually misplaced me was on all the facts. You know, as the maxim goes, details make or break the argument.. And it could not be more correct right here. Having said that, let me say to you exactly what did work. The text is certainly quite engaging and that is probably why I am making the effort to opine. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. Next, whilst I can see the jumps in logic you make, I am not necessarily confident of just how you seem to connect the points which in turn produce the conclusion. For right now I will yield to your point however hope in the foreseeable future you connect your facts much better.