Apr 19 2006
Apr 18 2006
“…it’s a ridiculous fashion and political statement to wear anyone’s face on your chest…”
That’s the most preposterous thing I’ve read all week! Here’s a picture of me with the faces’ of THREE guys on my shirt!
How ya like me now?
(it’s even funnier because at this very moment I have Bubba’s face on my shirt, but I don’t think I have a picture of me in that shirt.)
ridiculous is my middle name.
Apr 18 2006
04-18-06_1338.jpg
I love instructions in spanish!
Oh, never mind. You can’t see the instructions in the picture. I’d tell you what they say, but I don’t know spanish!
Apr 17 2006
WOW, I really AM (almost) famous!!
Is this email legit or is it some phishing/spam thing??
plz advise!
Well, shit… Never mind! I already emailed them, and they emailed me back. They’re going to let me know when they have an airdate for the piece. Wonbo Woo is my new best friend!!
If this doesn’t get me laid, I don’t know what will!
Apr 16 2006
I’m PRO!
The rumors were true! The trails at Markham Park were open, and not only did I get to ride them again, I lived to tell about it too!! (with pictures even!)
This is the entrance to “Crime Scene”. I think it’s clear that if you’re there to have a good time on your new Huffys you got from K-mart with your wife, you took a wrong turn somewhere. This section isn’t for pussies!
This is the back side of Crime Scene. Unfortunately, pictures don’t show how gnarly and intimidating it really is.
Here I am, contemplating certain death. It’s kind of like when you’re a kid and you finally get to go riding with the older kids. You’re like, It doesn’t look that bad, but they must call it “Dead Man Hill” for a reason, right?
…but I’m dum so I go for it. I kind of look like I know what I’m doing; sighting where I want to go instead of where I am.
And amazingly I end up where I wanted to go!
H00RAY!! I didn’t die!!!
Apr 16 2006
I’m (almost) famous (by proxy)!
Hey, look at this! James was in the NY Times today. Remember when I spent a day in Seattle with James (and others) and he (and others) got me drnk? That was awesome!
I was planning on flying back to Seattle in 2 weeks, but I’m too broke to go. The funny thing is that if I had not been lazy and got my taxes done earlier, I would have had enough money to go. Oh well. Maybe I’ll go for the Washougal National. If not, there’s always family xmas in December.
Also, it’s kind of funny because I linked to one of James’ youtube videos.
Apr 15 2006
Watch me go bling bling, bling bling; so gleam
I am zOMG SO MOIST WITH ANTICIPATION for this to be ready all ready! Naturally, Jay Quinlan is my heavy favorite without even seeing any footage. Second nod goes to Kourtney Hungerford, and 3rd on my radar is Heath Frisby, but if anyone else really brings it then I’m not against giving them precedence. Those are just my 3 favorites in general.
There are rumors that I will be riding at Markham park today at 3:30 or so. Back in January, Raul, Carl and I trekked up there only to find out that the trails were still closed after Hurricane Wilma’s destruction. Whoever said they’re open again better be right! I don’t want to have to settle for Oleta again. I wish South Pointe park had Markham’s trails! Then I would NEVER leave the beach!!
My bike is a little beat. I know a couple of months ago I made a post stating that I went a whole year… 1000+ miles! without getting a flat. Well, a couple of weeks after that I got a flat. I don’t even know how or when. I just went to ride to Publix and my rear tire was flat. The flat may have been a gift from God because in trying to change the tube I found a broken spoke! My rear wheel spent a couple of weeks at the mechanic’s and after too much drama over the disc rotor/hub, my wheel is back on my bike.
But my suspension is still too soft and my rear brake is still unpredictable. It might work… It might not.
Anyway… Come out to Markham Park this afternoon, find me, and say “Hey, I went to your website and it gave my kid/wife/dog a seizure, you asshole!!”. I shouldn’t be too hard to find… I’ll probably be the only fat guy LAYING (example 1, example 2) on the trail, crying for his mommy!
Apr 15 2006
OMF(u)G!!
CBGB in Miami????? Be still, my heart!
Oh, wait… “…more of a merchandise, retail outfit with perhaps a music stage…”??
Yeah, shit… That’s just what South Beach (and the rest of the world) needs! CBGB as trendy as Von Dutch? I CAN’T WAIT! (insert eyeroll here)
Apr 14 2006
a faker never know he fake
It’s not like I’m Bruce Willis or something. Nobody gives a shit what I had for breakfast! Or do they…?
Here is something I really can’t wrap my pea brain around. Why in the Tori Anus (.com!) would my site get a shit ton more hits (see above image or this PDF of last month’s stats page – 83 pages!!) than Critical Miami? I type the stupidest stuff usually about 3 stupid things… Me, Myself and I. Why would anyone (save for maybe 4 people) want to read all that? I mean, more people than those that would want to read other (better) sites that are about more interesting things.
Dear innernets, You are always not to be making the sense for me always.
But anyway… I looked up a post I made about stats last fall (this post was private until just now because I never really finished typing it out. also, lollers because I typed about criticalmiami.com in that post too!) and I realized this year’s numbers are probably going to make last year’s numbers look like I was still using geocities! Imagine what could happen if I actually made the posts I always want to make, but never do because I’m lazy! I might even be able to add a google ad or two!
But seriously! This doesn’t make sense. Please advise as to how I am calculating my numbers wrong.
Apr 14 2006
GOOD LAWD DASSA BIG ASS BUG!!
I won’t be able to sleep for the next 2 or so weeks! I don’t like bugs!!
On Sunday night/Monday morning I made the mistake of starting to watch King Kong for my first time at about 2 AM. I fell asleep about 40 minutes later.
The next night I continued watching and I got about 2 hours into it. I was about to go to bed when they showed all of these gigantic bugs and it kind of freaked me out. I didn’t sleep so well that night. I finally finished watching King Kong last night.
AND THEN TONIGHT I stumbled upon this gem of a video on the innernets! Just what I needed!
Apr 13 2006
lollers
(for reference – not that 2719 people saw that image yesterday or anything)
Also… I still need a partner in crime for tomorrow’s opening of the Miami Beach Polo Cup 2006.
Apr 13 2006
42
Have you ever noticed/realized how amazingly boring/pointless life seems once you’ve achieved all of your goals*, met all of your heros**, and bought everything you ever wanted***?
It kind of sucks.
Especially if you’ve burned a few bridges and damaged your body beyond repair in the process.
It’s not like you can just hit a reset button and start over.
* (and realized you should have set the bar a little higher!)
** (and realized that they’re just people too, and sometimes assholes and/or really short)
*** (and realized that those things are not as awesome as they seem in their marketing propaganda)
Apr 12 2006
what
This is almost better than the 7th Floor Crew debacle!
Now to find this guy’s profile and add him as a “friend”.
Apr 19 2006
Victoria EngRish
Remember when I had to make that big-ass fake FHM cover for that Paris Hilton movie? Well, did the movie come out or what? I never heard anything about it. The website is still up, but I don’t think it has changed in the last year or however long it’s been up.
I was really moist with anticipation to see it, but now I’m kind of over it.
Also… Blogging for 6 months? 1 Year?? So what! “On Blogger since April 2000” SIX YEARS N199AZ!
Does that make me old meme?
By FANLESS • Uncategorized • 2 • Tags: FANLESS.com, LOL INNERNETS, Work