IRL

posts about things that happen in real life

May 11 2006

Don’t Fight The Feelin’

**ATTENTION STALKERS**

I will be at plan to be at Lucky Strike tomorrow night from 9 PM until ??? for Chad’s birthday party. This will be a prime opportunity for you to find me, get me drnk, and attempt to steal my virginity. (ladies only!) I don’t plan on doing any actual bowling… The last time I went bowling I got p0wnt!1! I’ll just be there looking awesome, as usual.

Also, I have been advised that my picture is on page 128 of the June 2006 issue of Dirt Bike magazine! (oh hay if you accidentally go to http://www.dirtbikemag.com you might be in for a surprise!) If you get your grubby fat little hands on that issue, you can enjoy more Where’s Waldo super mega ultra good fun times! H00RAY!!

Lastly, who wants to go to this wakeboarding comp with me? I’m not too keen on paying $25+ to see guys that aren’t exactly my favorites… Especially after seeing my favorite riders at Mill Pond for free! It’s something to do, I guess. I just need to find someone to do it with.

By • Uncategorized • 1 • Tags: ,

May 9 2006

Live from Nintendo’s display at E3!

FINALLY someone I know in real life has a blog! Well, I guess I have a few IRL friends that have blogs or whatever, but I think I met all of them through the net. I mean people that knew me before I knew the innernets! But I digress…
Folks, I am proud to present to you: My cousin Scott’s E3 blog!
http://scooterse4.blogspot.com/
Go there and read all about him reppin’ Nintendo at E3! Leave him lots of comments so maybe he’ll feel special and keep his blog running after the Expo. Then maybe I’ll hear more about what’s going on back home and stuff.
Oh, the stories the stories I could tell about that kid! …and the stories he could tell about me! Oh, wait… Ok, never mind! Don’t leave him comments unless they’re threatening and make him want to never log onto the internet again!

By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: , ,

May 8 2006

big pimpin’


I started writing an epic post about this over the weekend, but before I could save/post it, my iMac shut itself off or the power went out or something. Anyway, I lost all of my typing and I couldn’t be bothered with typing it all out again.

For one, the woman can try the http://thebustboosters.com by taking in complex carbohydrates, healthy fats and lean proteins which you can find if you view this imact whey review. You can also buy whey protein.

A headache could lead to further oral problems down the line, especially if the distorted structure of the teeth interferes with the patient’s chewing abilities. Better to visit orthodontist The Woodlands for their services. It isn’t uncommon to see someone lose multiple teeth over the years as a result of this and more often than not, the bone loss occurs in the same row, side by side.

Starting today through Friday, one of my pictures will be shown on a billboard in NYC’s Times Square!

You’ve probably already seen the picture on CNN or CNN.com, in this YTMND beauty (not made by me!), or, if you’re from the future (or reading this in the future), then perhaps you saw it on ABC World News Tonight (I haven’t heard anything about this since April 25th. Did I miss it??). So if you’re in the area, check it out at 4:47 PM. Oh, and please take a picture of it because I’ll be at work and missing it.

OH HAY LQQK!!1

I’m kind of a big deal.

By • Uncategorized • 5 • Tags: ,

May 5 2006

Cinco de Mayo!

Where is the hot spot on the beach to get crunk tonight ?? (sorry, I haven’t been paying attention lately)
PLZ ADVISE!!

By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: ,

May 4 2006

knackered

Last night was the opening party for Miami Fashion Week at Glass.
I haven’t been to bed yet.
I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.
Bring on the Red Bull!
Such is life on the beach!
Oh, P.S.: (and I would edit my previous post but then people would see I am on the innernets at work zOMGz!!) If nothing is changing on my screen, that probably means I passed out! PLZ TXT ME and wake me up!
kthnxbye

By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: , ,

May 2 2006

what the hell?

Wow, today is starting out to be fairly odd!
I did a commendable job of getting ready for work earlier than usual so I could do a couple of things before heading in. I walked over to the bank, and on the way it felt like a lot of people on the sidewalk were trying to get in my way and hold me up. Then when I got to the bank, some woman with a dog was in front of me in line, and when it was her turn at the counter, she waited an extraordinarily long time for her dog to finish sniffing whatever it was sniffing before actually going to the counter. And then it was my turn and everything went fine and quick.
I walked across the street to Lee Ann Drug to get some wings (Red Bull!). They didn’t have any so I bought a bottle of Cherry Coke instead. I went to pay for it and I got behind some old guy that was just moseying along. I was waiting for him to get out of the way so I could step up to the counter to pay, and some old woman swooped in behind him, and in front of me, to pay for her items. I would have been like, oh yeah fuck whatever, not not really cared, but this woman was slower than my asshole and she took forever, talking about everything with the cashier. At this point I felt like I was on some hidden camera tv show or something! It wasn’t a matter of me being in a hurry/impatient and noticing everyday occurrences as slowdowns… These people were really being slow!
I finally got to pay for my soda, and walked down the street to work. I booted up my computer and walked a few doors down to get a can of the elusive Red Bull. Guess what happened! They had cans of Red Bull, but the guy in front of me in line to pay must have been Chatty Cathy’s brother or something, because he had a lot to say (in spanish, no less, so I have no idea what they were talking about). Whatever it was that they were talking about must have been pretty good because after that guy left, the 2 women behind the counter talked to each other for what seemed like an eternity while I stood there, money in hand, waiting to pay. I quickly grew tired of waiting and just laid my $2.30 on the counter, said “Thanks” and walked out.
And now… I wasn’t going to type anything about my morning, but there was this woman trying to park her car in front of the office and she was taking so long it pushed me over the edge and I decided that everything around me today is going super slow. I typed this whole post (and I’m no speed demon in typing, let me tell ya…) and she’s still trying to park her car!
Oh, wait… I think she got it.

By • Uncategorized • 3 • Tags: , ,

Apr 25 2006

Earf day @ Brokeback Markham

This is how I spent Earth Day 2006: Riding at Markham Park!




By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: , ,

Apr 21 2006

South Beach Breakfast!

Just incase anyone is mistaken and actually thinks I might be Bruce Willis or something, (I’m not!) this is (was) my breakfast today.

(this is where you chime in with “zOMG NO WONDER YOU’RE SO FAT!!” and such.)

By • Uncategorized • 3 • Tags: , ,

Apr 20 2006

It’s on like Donkey Kong!

I have plans to go riding at Markham park again on Saturday. I’m just letting you know so you can come out and stalk me. I might be spending the night in West Palm because I have another baby shower to go to on Sunday. Why can’t people schedule their stuff around the Supercross schedule? I just had 2 weekends of nothing in a row, and now that Supercross is happening again, I have other crap to do.
I can’t remember why now, but for some reason I felt it was important for me to put this conversation I just had with Andre on the innernets.
Me: Hey, do you want to go riding with us on Saturday?
Andre: Where?
Me: Markham Park!
Andre: You said on Saturday?
Me: Yeah, man. I love Markham!
Andre: Willy’skid’s birthday is that day.
Me: Who?
Andre: Willy. His kid is having a birthday party on Saturday with the kids birthday parties in Riverside from http://www.jumpersjungle.com/riverside/. Want to go?
Me: No, I’m going riding!
Andre: Willy’s going to be mad if you don’t show up.
Me: What? I didn’t even know about it. I don’t even know if I knew he had kids!

By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: , ,

Apr 16 2006

I’m PRO!

The rumors were true! The trails at Markham Park were open, and not only did I get to ride them again, I lived to tell about it too!! (with pictures even!)


This is the entrance to “Crime Scene”. I think it’s clear that if you’re there to have a good time on your new Huffys you got from K-mart with your wife, you took a wrong turn somewhere. This section isn’t for pussies!


This is the back side of Crime Scene. Unfortunately, pictures don’t show how gnarly and intimidating it really is.


Here I am, contemplating certain death. It’s kind of like when you’re a kid and you finally get to go riding with the older kids. You’re like, It doesn’t look that bad, but they must call it “Dead Man Hill” for a reason, right?


…but I’m dum so I go for it. I kind of look like I know what I’m doing; sighting where I want to go instead of where I am.


And amazingly I end up where I wanted to go!


H00RAY!! I didn’t die!!!

By • Uncategorized • 9 • Tags: , ,

Apr 16 2006

I’m (almost) famous (by proxy)!

Hey, look at this! James was in the NY Times today. Remember when I spent a day in Seattle with James (and others) and he (and others) got me drnk? That was awesome!
I was planning on flying back to Seattle in 2 weeks, but I’m too broke to go. The funny thing is that if I had not been lazy and got my taxes done earlier, I would have had enough money to go. Oh well. Maybe I’ll go for the Washougal National. If not, there’s always family xmas in December.
Also, it’s kind of funny because I linked to one of James’ youtube videos.

By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: , ,

Apr 15 2006

Watch me go bling bling, bling bling; so gleam

I am zOMG SO MOIST WITH ANTICIPATION for this to be ready all ready! Naturally, Jay Quinlan is my heavy favorite without even seeing any footage. Second nod goes to Kourtney Hungerford, and 3rd on my radar is Heath Frisby, but if anyone else really brings it then I’m not against giving them precedence. Those are just my 3 favorites in general.

There are rumors that I will be riding at Markham park today at 3:30 or so. Back in January, Raul, Carl and I trekked up there only to find out that the trails were still closed after Hurricane Wilma’s destruction. Whoever said they’re open again better be right! I don’t want to have to settle for Oleta again. I wish South Pointe park had Markham’s trails! Then I would NEVER leave the beach!!

My bike is a little beat. I know a couple of months ago I made a post stating that I went a whole year… 1000+ miles! without getting a flat. Well, a couple of weeks after that I got a flat. I don’t even know how or when. I just went to ride to Publix and my rear tire was flat. The flat may have been a gift from God because in trying to change the tube I found a broken spoke! My rear wheel spent a couple of weeks at the mechanic’s and after too much drama over the disc rotor/hub, my wheel is back on my bike.
But my suspension is still too soft and my rear brake is still unpredictable. It might work… It might not.

Anyway… Come out to Markham Park this afternoon, find me, and say “Hey, I went to your website and it gave my kid/wife/dog a seizure, you asshole!!”. I shouldn’t be too hard to find… I’ll probably be the only fat guy LAYING (example 1, example 2) on the trail, crying for his mommy!

By • Uncategorized • 0 • Tags: , , ,

Apr 11 2006

They call me Birdman Junior; I’m flyer than the rest

Ya know, I’ve always claimed to be a pretty cool guy, but it’s been a little tough to back that claim up at times. The other day I ran across a bit of proof!

Here I am flanked by my boys, Phil hanks on my right and Rod Schutte on my left. Please pay close attention to my sweet pink All-Stars that I’m rockin’ without socks! That’s how I did it in the late 80s. Also, check out how ginormous Phil’s feet are! Oh, and obviously I was way skinnier than I am now. I think I’m gonna get my hair cut like that again! I’d still wear pink Converse, but I think they might give off the wrong kind of vibe here on South Beach. I’m still man enough to ride my pink Pork around!
I can’t figure out what year this was exactly. I wasn’t into cards until after I moved to Yakima, so it must have been after 6th grade. I think this was before my melon got operated on, so it was before 9th grade. I’m going to guess that this was during the 7th grade, so probably 1987 or 88.
I’m gonna look for more sweet pics from back in the day to scan.

Speaking of friends…
Hey, you. Yeah, YOU! You reading these words… Why am I not one of your myspace friends?? Please add me right now!
www.myspace.com/fanless (I better have at least 250 friends by the end of the day!)
Thanks! We’ll be BFF!!

By • Uncategorized • 2 • Tags: , , ,

Apr 8 2006

to infinity, and beyond!

I’ve found my pictures all over myspace and xanga and various forums on the innernets, but… ebay??
I took the pic of the green hummer!

By • Uncategorized • 1 • Tags: , , ,

«< 8 9 10 11 12 >