MrsFANLESS (3:29:15 AM): well.. um... why do you want one?
CPCalzadillas (3:29:24 AM): Because they're dope.
MrsFANLESS (3:29:41 AM): fair enough.
CPCalzadillas (3:30:46 AM): zoe has more computer games than anyone else i know.
MrsFANLESS (3:31:14 AM): my sister has heaps, but you don't know her... so it doesn't count.
CPCalzadillas (3:31:57 AM): almost every day at work I have to go to www.nickjr.com and play games.
MrsFANLESS (3:32:17 AM): it will do you good!
CPCalzadillas (3:32:22 AM): we mostly play find swiper, spooky forest, and oswalds hat.
MrsFANLESS (3:32:48 AM): and do you have gfun/
CPCalzadillas (3:32:59 AM): the scary thing is that zoe pretty much runs everything.
CPCalzadillas (3:33:07 AM): like she clicks on all of the right things.
CPCalzadillas (3:33:12 AM): hell yeah i have fun.
MrsFANLESS (3:33:27 AM): my sister is the same.
CPCalzadillas (3:33:49 AM): your sister isn't 2.
MrsFANLESS (3:34:10 AM): yeah but she is in mind.
MrsFANLESS (3:34:43 AM): well not 2.. but nevermind
CPCalzadillas (3:35:20 AM): I so can not believe the twin towers are gone.
CPCalzadillas (3:35:27 AM): i dunno if i will ever believe it.
CPCalzadillas (3:35:41 AM): it's like... all i even think about anymore.
MrsFANLESS (3:35:45 AM): are you serious?
CPCalzadillas (3:35:49 AM): i mean... not really... but kinda.
CPCalzadillas (3:35:50 AM): '
MrsFANLESS (3:36:06 AM): oh ok..
CPCalzadillas (3:36:41 AM): It's just weird that something so so so big... something i saw3 months ago... can be gone.
MrsFANLESS (3:36:56 AM): i don't really have much to say on that entire situation. never did.
CPCalzadillas (3:37:56 AM): http://www.christiancalzadillas.com/NYC2001/DSCF0017.JPG
http://www.christiancalzadillas.com/NYC2001/DSCF0016.JPG
http://www.christiancalzadillas.com/NYC2001/DSCF0015.JPG
CPCalzadillas (3:38:03 AM): those 3 pics are from there.
MrsFANLESS (3:38:57 AM): frame them.
CPCalzadillas (3:39:16 AM): i would only do 1.
CPCalzadillas (3:39:46 AM): or maybe this one... http://www.christiancalzadillas.com/NYC2001/DSCF0018.JPG
MrsFANLESS (3:41:04 AM): cool.
MrsFANLESS (3:42:51 AM): does chad use enough gel or what?
CPCalzadillas (3:43:06 AM): it's like that naturally.
MrsFANLESS (3:43:23 AM): great.
CPCalzadillas (3:43:33 AM): he uses the same wax as me.
MrsFANLESS (3:44:03 AM): oh ok.
CPCalzadillas (3:44:23 AM): i had just bought a jar right before Iwent there, and hadn't opened it yet, and i thought that his was mine, and when I opened it, i was like... mother fucker! they sold me a half empty jar!!
MrsFANLESS (3:45:00 AM): you dick! lol
CPCalzadillas (3:46:11 AM): this is still my favorite pic from the trip... http://www.christiancalzadillas.com/NYC2001/DSCF0009.JPG
CPCalzadillas (3:46:48 AM): because it's Zoe's shirt, but it had been next to porn for who knows how long. so it was in a sense tainted.
CPCalzadillas (3:47:29 AM): kim so didn't want to take that pic.
MrsFANLESS (3:47:50 AM): kim looks different to other pics i have seen her in.
CPCalzadillas (3:48:00 AM): how?
MrsFANLESS (3:48:12 AM): i dunno..
CPCalzadillas (3:48:21 AM): you can look at the rest.. but you've probably seen most of them. http://www.christiancalzadillas.com/NYC2001/
CPCalzadillas (3:48:28 AM): i mean... ifyou want to.
MrsFANLESS (3:48:50 AM): i don't think i looked at them.
CPCalzadillas (3:48:55 AM): i drink so much snapple when i'm there.
CPCalzadillas (3:49:12 AM): like... maybe 6 or 7 a day.
MrsFANLESS (3:49:16 AM): what the hell is snapple?
CPCalzadillas (3:49:23 AM): juice.
MrsFANLESS (3:50:03 AM): rihgt.
CPCalzadillas (3:50:12 AM): i can tell you what's in the pics if you have questions.
MrsFANLESS (3:50:23 AM): i just did 600 situps.. my tummy is killing.
MrsFANLESS (3:50:32 AM): your pictures take ages to load
CPCalzadillas (3:50:34 AM): geez.
CPCalzadillas (3:50:43 AM): well look at the smaller ones then.
CPCalzadillas (3:51:50 AM): http://homepage.mac.com/nyc2001/
MrsFANLESS (3:51:55 AM): for some reason, when i look at anyones pics... i don't have questions. i mean, i was looking at michaels new zealand pictures, and kendra had all these questions... but i didn't... and i dunno why.
CPCalzadillas (3:51:59 AM): some of them are mising though
CPCalzadillas (3:52:08 AM): oh.
MrsFANLESS (3:53:16 AM): damn you loook soooooo different to the old picture you posted of you in your pervert tshirt.
CPCalzadillas (3:53:24 AM): i know.
CPCalzadillas (3:53:36 AM): i looked 6786757654564 times better then.
MrsFANLESS (3:54:41 AM): is it just coz you put on weight?
CPCalzadillas (3:54:55 AM): and i got older.
CPCalzadillas (3:55:00 AM): and more pissed off.
MrsFANLESS (3:55:15 AM): i know.. but just soooooooooooooooo damn different.
CPCalzadillas (3:55:23 AM): thanks.
MrsFANLESS (3:57:21 AM): what is it with you and girls buttcracks?
CPCalzadillas (3:57:31 AM): it's funny.
CPCalzadillas (3:57:45 AM): i didn't take all of those.
MrsFANLESS (3:57:57 AM): so if you could see my buttcrack, but chad took a picture of it... wuld you care?
CPCalzadillas (3:58:11 AM): no.
CPCalzadillas (3:58:23 AM): it's just funny.
CPCalzadillas (3:58:33 AM): your ass crack shouldn't be showinng.
MrsFANLESS (3:58:52 AM): why>
CPCalzadillas (3:59:06 AM): i dunno.
MrsFANLESS (3:59:11 AM): if pants are too big around the waste, and they're hipsters, you can't help it sometmes.
MrsFANLESS (3:59:17 AM): like me.
MrsFANLESS (3:59:44 AM): but i don't care if you see my underpants... but i always make sure you can't see my buttcrack.
MrsFANLESS (4:00:28 AM): actually, my underpants are nearly always showng when i wear pants.
MrsFANLESS (4:01:14 AM): and people always look at my boobs.
CPCalzadillas (4:01:39 AM): why?
MrsFANLESS (4:01:47 AM): why what?
CPCalzadillas (4:01:53 AM): why are they always showing?
MrsFANLESS (4:02:26 AM): coz my pants hang low.. they're too big on the waste, but i can't wear tight pants coz i got big biker legs. .
CPCalzadillas (4:02:37 AM): oh.
MrsFANLESS (4:03:42 AM): dale likes my butt... michael likes me... hoggie likes my boobs... and well yeah. .
CPCalzadillas (4:03:55 AM): coo.
MrsFANLESS (4:04:12 AM): really?
CPCalzadillas (4:04:18 AM): i don't care.
MrsFANLESS (4:04:31 AM): ok.
CPCalzadillas (4:04:41 AM): i mean... what am i gonna do about it?
MrsFANLESS (4:04:44 AM): good,
MrsFANLESS (4:05:11 AM): you can't.
CPCalzadillas (4:05:16 AM): exactly.
This is where it starts.
MrsFANLESS (4:09:03 AM): so have you kissed any girls? .
CPCalzadillas (4:09:14 AM): i wish!
CPCalzadillas (4:09:17 AM): you?
CPCalzadillas (4:09:23 AM): well... guys
MrsFANLESS (4:09:35 AM): you do you wanna kiss?
CPCalzadillas (4:09:49 AM): i guess.
MrsFANLESS (4:10:06 AM): i mean, WHO do you wanna kiss>
CPCalzadillas (4:10:28 AM): oh.
CPCalzadillas (4:10:36 AM): at this point i have no idea. I don't think anyone is interested.
MrsFANLESS (4:10:37 AM): well if you call michael leaning over me and kissing me something... then yes...
MrsFANLESS (4:11:26 AM): and there was someone else.
CPCalzadillas (4:12:41 AM): who?
MrsFANLESS (4:13:12 AM): You don't know him. He used to work with me.
CPCalzadillas (4:13:28 AM): i don't know anyone, so what's the diff?
CPCalzadillas (4:13:50 AM): work where?
MrsFANLESS (4:13:53 AM): well someone from work... even though he's left... but that didn't matter.
MrsFANLESS (4:14:24 AM): at scotts.
CPCalzadillas (4:14:25 AM): what's the story with that?
MrsFANLESS (4:14:51 AM): what do you mean story? does there have to be a story?
CPCalzadillas (4:15:18 AM): i just mean... like details or whatever.
MrsFANLESS (4:15:40 AM): as if you want details!! you'll feel sick and stuff.
CPCalzadillas (4:15:57 AM): how many times?
MrsFANLESS (4:16:18 AM): i dunno,
CPCalzadillas (4:16:22 AM): a lot?
MrsFANLESS (4:16:39 AM): does it matteR?
CPCalzadillas (4:16:57 AM): i thought we were having a conversation about it?
CPCalzadillas (4:17:17 AM): so fo r the sake of the conversation, it does.
MrsFANLESS (4:17:45 AM): well how do you feel?
CPCalzadillas (4:17:59 AM): does it matter?
MrsFANLESS (4:18:12 AM): yeahm i think so.
CPCalzadillas (4:18:16 AM): why?
MrsFANLESS (4:18:33 AM): coz i said so.
CPCalzadillas (4:19:03 AM): well i feel like talking about it is better than leaving me thinking 23817871283896123 different things.

CPCalzadillas (4:19:13 AM): set the record straight'
CPCalzadillas (4:19:23 AM): so to speak.
MrsFANLESS (4:19:23 AM): and what are the other things that you are thinking?
CPCalzadillas (4:19:46 AM): i don't know. i would just like a little more background or whatever.
MrsFANLESS (4:20:14 AM): well ask then.
CPCalzadillas (4:20:16 AM): so are you going to talk about it?
CPCalzadillas (4:20:20 AM): i did ask.
CPCalzadillas (4:20:31 AM): i asked for the story.
MrsFANLESS (4:20:36 AM): are you going to not speak to me again?
CPCalzadillas (4:20:37 AM): i asked for a name.
CPCalzadillas (4:20:39 AM): no.
MrsFANLESS (4:21:27 AM): well... i dunno where to start. ever since the new place we moved to, i got to see him more... and we just got along...
CPCalzadillas (4:21:37 AM): his name?
MrsFANLESS (4:21:47 AM): why is that important?
CPCalzadillas (4:21:51 AM): it isn't.
CPCalzadillas (4:22:06 AM): why can't you say it?
MrsFANLESS (4:22:16 AM): fine... brett.
CPCalzadillas (4:22:23 AM): is he your boyfriend?
MrsFANLESS (4:23:23 AM): nah wouldn't say that now... but he kinda was.. i dunno .. yes, no, i dunno..
CPCalzadillas (4:23:32 AM): why not now?
MrsFANLESS (4:24:00 AM): coz i don't get to see him as much because he's working somewhere else now. dfferent hours, longer distance.
CPCalzadillas (4:24:20 AM): you just kissed him?
MrsFANLESS (4:24:50 AM): yeah.
CPCalzadillas (4:24:59 AM): and he only kissed you?
MrsFANLESS (4:25:13 AM): yeah,
CPCalzadillas (4:25:18 AM): where?
MrsFANLESS (4:25:50 AM): what do you mean where!?
CPCalzadillas (4:26:10 AM): where did you kiss eachother. as in body part.
MrsFANLESS (4:26:51 AM): lips, neck...

it didn't turn into anything more... but i'll be honest... if he stayed at scotts, it would have.
CPCalzadillas (4:26:56 AM): and where did you kiss... as in what location... work?
MrsFANLESS (4:27:24 AM): work, outside of work... car... um... other places.
CPCalzadillas (4:27:34 AM): what other places?
MrsFANLESS (4:27:47 AM): but no one saw us at work.
MrsFANLESS (4:28:13 AM): like lunch... hotel rooms... where ever we were. nice outside garden..
CPCalzadillas (4:28:19 AM): how long did it go on for?
MrsFANLESS (4:28:28 AM): his house.
MrsFANLESS (4:28:39 AM): months.
CPCalzadillas (4:28:45 AM): how many?
MrsFANLESS (4:29:12 AM): 5.. 6... i dunno..
CPCalzadillas (4:29:17 AM): oh.
MrsFANLESS (4:29:30 AM): we still talk.
CPCalzadillas (4:29:33 AM): i see.
MrsFANLESS (4:29:33 AM): so do you feel sick?
CPCalzadillas (4:29:49 AM): when did you last kiss him?
MrsFANLESS (4:30:33 AM): why? do you feel sick? .
CPCalzadillas (4:30:36 AM): i've been sick since you asked me if i've kissed anyone. I had an idea where this was going to end up. That's why I asked about it.
CPCalzadillas (4:30:44 AM): Because I am just wondering.
MrsFANLESS (4:31:12 AM): so has this changed things for you about me?
CPCalzadillas (4:31:15 AM): soo...?
MrsFANLESS (4:31:28 AM): thusday/
CPCalzadillas (4:31:35 AM): not really.
CPCalzadillas (4:31:49 AM): if anything, it's good.
CPCalzadillas (4:32:07 AM): because now i can finally (hopefully) not pine over you. <=== This is what I wanted to happen. Then I could focus on someone else... YOU!
MrsFANLESS (4:32:11 AM): why?
MrsFANLESS (4:32:27 AM): you shoudln't have anyway.
CPCalzadillas (4:32:43 AM): It's not like it was something i wanted to do.
MrsFANLESS (4:33:05 AM): so does this mean that oyu don't want to be with me?
CPCalzadillas (4:33:55 AM): I'm not saying that at all... Because it's not true. But i think it's obvious that you don't want to be with me.
MrsFANLESS (4:35:24 AM): it's not that.. i deunno what it is. he was here, he made/makes me happy... i dunno what else to tell you. it didn't happen straight away. we both felt something, but ignored it...
CPCalzadillas (4:36:22 AM): ok, then... Why complicate what you have going by talking to me?
CPCalzadillas (4:38:08 AM): whatever.
MrsFANLESS (4:38:20 AM): well what do you want to happen
MrsFANLESS (4:38:24 AM): ?.
CPCalzadillas (4:38:39 AM): nothing.
CPCalzadillas (4:39:00 AM): at this point i wish things would have ended when they did earlier in the year.
MrsFANLESS (4:40:10 AM): so are you saying that i shoudn't worry about working us out?
CPCalzadillas (4:40:20 AM): why would you anyways?
CPCalzadillas (4:40:32 AM): or how are you?
MrsFANLESS (4:41:34 AM): i will always care for you... there's always an interest..
CPCalzadillas (4:41:39 AM): it seems like you already have a bird in the hand... why bother going after the one in the bush?
MrsFANLESS (4:41:57 AM): it's not that easy both ways.
CPCalzadillas (4:41:59 AM): i... i dunno about that...
CPCalzadillas (4:42:25 AM): i would have believed that before... but...
CPCalzadillas (4:42:27 AM): i dunno.
CPCalzadillas (4:42:35 AM): nevermind.
MrsFANLESS (4:42:37 AM): dunn what?
CPCalzadillas (4:42:39 AM): i'm done talking.
CPCalzadillas (4:43:39 AM): you say you care for me... but you would do things like that, that you know would hurt me? that doesn't make sense.
MrsFANLESS (4:44:05 AM): there was no you and me when that was happening thank you.
CPCalzadillas (4:44:07 AM): one time i could understand... 6 months is a bit hard to swallow.
MrsFANLESS (4:44:39 AM): well believe what you want... i was giving you the chance/time/whatever..
CPCalzadillas (4:45:16 AM): i know that. but who was it that ended it all? you. I was here thinking you were being true... just doing your thing there to earn money to come here.
CPCalzadillas (4:45:37 AM): the thing is... how can i compete with that?
CPCalzadillas (4:45:46 AM): never mind the past...
CPCalzadillas (4:46:00 AM): but how can i compete with what you have now?
CPCalzadillas (4:46:18 AM): I am 73264768237647823687462378647832 km away. I am not able to go there any time soon.
MrsFANLESS (4:46:25 AM): well i was into working everything out, wasn't i?
CPCalzadillas (4:46:51 AM): You said you were... But now your actions aren't really showing that.
CPCalzadillas (4:47:07 AM): i understand you doind what youhave to do, and all... but...
CPCalzadillas (4:47:14 AM): well, it hurts. A LOT.
CPCalzadillas (4:47:33 AM): i just don't see how i can win here.
MrsFANLESS (4:47:50 AM): well d you want to stop talking to me?
CPCalzadillas (4:48:08 AM): because i really don't think you're willing to end what you have going now to make things work with me, are you?
MrsFANLESS (4:48:50 AM): well before you knew anything, i was... wasn't i? so why would that change?
CPCalzadillas (4:49:04 AM): no.
CPCalzadillas (4:49:09 AM): apparently you were not.
CPCalzadillas (4:49:21 AM): at least you didn't.
MrsFANLESS (4:49:24 AM): i fkn' said i was.
CPCalzadillas (4:49:34 AM): i think i'm lost.
CPCalzadillas (4:49:39 AM): and i'm not shitty.
CPCalzadillas (4:49:48 AM): just hurt.
CPCalzadillas (4:49:59 AM): and i'm totally not trying to put any blame on you.
CPCalzadillas (4:50:11 AM): i'm just trying to show you how i am seeing things.
MrsFANLESS (4:50:12 AM): the whole 6 months i wasn't even talking to you.
CPCalzadillas (4:50:37 AM): when did we ever go 6 months without talking?
MrsFANLESS (4:51:51 AM): not the entire 6 months. but i wasn't into working things out the whole time... just a while ago i was. . and you knew that because i wouldn't even talk to you on the phone when you called.
CPCalzadillas (4:51:52 AM): i know not much was said for quite a while... but like i said... i thought you were just doing your thing... saving money to come here.
CPCalzadillas (4:52:41 AM): ok, well...
MrsFANLESS (4:52:49 AM): bull... it had ended... i didn't like what was going on.
CPCalzadillas (4:53:09 AM): what are you willing to do to make something between you and me happen?
MrsFANLESS (4:53:38 AM): i can't do anything until i'm happy with you, and got cash to go there.
MrsFANLESS (4:54:04 AM): you should come here.
MrsFANLESS (4:54:26 AM): what i hate is that i have to go THERE... i'd be much happier if we both moved to a new place.. met half way.
CPCalzadillas (4:55:02 AM): well, do you see what you're asking of me, from my point of view? You are saying... Ok, I'm going to keep my boyfriend/whatever i have now until you're up to my standards, and are able to come here.
CPCalzadillas (4:55:19 AM): i am willing to go there for a visit.
MrsFANLESS (4:56:04 AM): i'm not saying that at all.
you make the decision...
CPCalzadillas (4:56:20 AM): then can you tell me what you're saying?
MrsFANLESS (4:56:51 AM): i can't explain it... and you just take everything the wrong way. i should have said nothing.
CPCalzadillas (4:57:03 AM): I think my bottom line is this... are you willing to not see this guy again?
MrsFANLESS (4:57:41 AM): yes, but not right now... you and i are not together... and i'm sorry, but i don't love you.
CPCalzadillas (4:57:52 AM): do you love him?
MrsFANLESS (4:58:20 AM): i dunno.
CPCalzadillas (4:59:10 AM): Can you see why I am a bit hesitant here? Why I feel like I need to concede?
MrsFANLESS (4:59:34 AM): Well, do what you think is right for you.
CPCalzadillas (4:59:46 AM): you already have a boyfriend there. I am here.
you don't know if you love him, but you know you don't love me.
MrsFANLESS (5:00:31 AM): Are you crying?

CPCalzadillas (5:00:32 AM): i need for YOU to tell me what to do because you know how things are better than I do.
CPCalzadillas (5:00:37 AM): no.
CPCalzadillas (5:01:04 AM): in other words... do I even stand a chance?
CPCalzadillas (5:01:29 AM): because from the looks of it... there is no way in hell.
MrsFANLESS (5:01:46 AM): I've been giving you a chance.
CPCalzadillas (5:03:37 AM): What would happen if I packed all of my shit tonight, and hopped on a plane there in the morning?
CPCalzadillas (5:03:45 AM): shit, it IS morning already.
MrsFANLESS (5:04:24 AM): well i'd give you a major chance.. i'd be focused on you..
CPCalzadillas (5:04:43 AM): and why is that?
CPCalzadillas (5:04:58 AM): you don't love me, but you might love him.
MrsFANLESS (5:05:40 AM): because i have my reasons.
CPCalzadillas (5:08:03 AM): when do you reckon you'll see him again?
MrsFANLESS (5:08:34 AM): i have noooo idea.
CPCalzadillas (5:08:49 AM): Can you tell me about Thursday?
MrsFANLESS (5:09:18 AM): Just tell me... If it hurts you, why do you want to know?
CPCalzadillas (5:09:26 AM): like, how you were able to see him then, and what all went on.
CPCalzadillas (5:09:39 AM): because i want to know what i'm up against.
MrsFANLESS (5:09:46 AM): What for?
MrsFANLESS (5:10:34 AM): There is no reason for you to need to know this.
CPCalzadillas (5:11:00 AM): i mean... this really is the jumping point. this is where we decide if we're going to make this happen, or not. My decidion on whether I'm in or not depends on what i'm up against.
CPCalzadillas (5:11:16 AM): hearing about thursday would help me know what i am up against.
MrsFANLESS (5:12:40 AM): i can't say whaat you're up against... it doesn't work that way.
what do you want to do right now?
CPCalzadillas (5:13:01 AM): i want to hear about thursday.
MrsFANLESS (5:13:15 AM): it's not going to do anything for you.
CPCalzadillas (5:13:23 AM): how do you know?
MrsFANLESS (5:13:46 AM): because i know.
MrsFANLESS (5:14:01 AM): so what do you want to do right now?
CPCalzadillas (5:14:15 AM): I want to hear about thursday.
MrsFANLESS (5:14:38 AM): you're not going to hear about it.
CPCalzadillas (5:14:45 AM): why not?
MrsFANLESS (5:15:11 AM): because telling you isn't going to do anything. it's nt going to tell you what yu're up against.
CPCalzadillas (5:15:30 AM): i don't care. i still want to hear about it.
MrsFANLESS (5:15:44 AM): nope.
CPCalzadillas (5:16:11 AM): why aren't you willing to help me make this decidion?
CPCalzadillas (5:16:15 AM): decision.
MrsFANLESS (5:16:43 AM): thursday is not going to help. there isn't anything to know.
do you what you want.
MrsFANLESS (5:17:13 AM): i mean, do what you want.
MrsFANLESS (5:23:11 AM): so?
That was the end because I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning my apartment as if I had just had a party at my parents house, and they just called to say they were on their way home. It was like I went a little mental or something. Like cleaning my apartment was going to clean up my life/head. Then I spent like an hour typing that post. Then I went to bed. The end.